The Avoidant Attachment Style Explained

While more than half of adults identify with the secure attachment style, which is considered healthy, about 25% of the population is living with avoidant attachment, per Sage House Therapy.  According to Mark Manson, people with this attachment style are very independent, self-directed, and quite uncomfortable with most intimacy. Since attachment styles are said to have started in childhood, a child with this type of attachment style will show no outward need for approval or love. However, inside they are anxious and wanting to be shown affection (via MedicalNewsToday). These children become adults who desire a healthy relationship, but struggle to show this desire to their partners.

The Attachment Project maintains that avoidant attachment types are not all full of conflict. Someone who has this style is often incredibly productive at work and responds quickly to issues that need to be solved. They identify problems and soften their impact. They are also less likely to need the approval of their peers, making them efficient and confident co-workers. However, if you are in a relationship with someone who has a dismissive or avoidant attachment style, it can be quite lonely. Psych Central recommends respecting the differences that come with your union and to practice patience as your partner works to feel more secure in the relationship. By doing this, a partner can release control and help their significant other work through behaviors that were anchored in childhood.